Where is it headed?

Kink and me where is it headed and what do i want to do with it?
This past week or so, i had an interesting round of video sessions with MenAreSlaves and met some great Ladies Natalie Minx and Mina Meow(big fan of Her). i also checked out Club Hell and i was invited to a Domme's going away party.

i went to Club Hell in a slutty fishnet outfit as the sub of Mistress Talisa who i played with earlier in the week. She has a very striking presence and is fun to be around. At Club Hell i witnessed the Cage of Soul Ladies and some other people i had met from the Lair perform some play, but mainly some fun medical scenes. Club Hell was also my first fetish club, i think i like them a lot and will have to attend more. Also there i met some new Dommes, in particular Domina Athena stood out who i talked to at the going away party and talked to a Domme i had met before (who's card i lost unfortunately).
Domina Athena is quite beautiful and i think everyone should have the chance to meet Her. i also could have gone to a kink party Saturday where She would be, but i think my friends were sore for my time, though that Saturday we didn't do anything so maybe i should've went to the party?

More recently though i have been having conversations with my very close friend about me and videos. She worries that someday i may have all that revealed to the public, but She also brought up some good arguments and made me wonder if i should stop soon. i think i might for the next year due to how young i am, but then i honestly need a source of income. The videos mainly come from not being able to afford play at all, but while i don't need kink, i think i need at least some in my life. If not then i need to find a sexual partner that gets me aroused and off(harder than people think with my strange condition).

What i'm figuring on is that hopefully i'll still be able to help out Mistresses and serve them even though i won't also be able to be in Their videos, hopefully i can help make the videos too.

Eventually i may have to end it though, there's such a strange dynamic i have in being comfortable in sexuality, in college to get a job, want to have kids and work with them, while facing advice from people who ask me to look into myself. All this while being young i don't know, as i see so many young Ladies and some men who show Their faces and i just don't know.